Court Session held on January 4th, 2001

Judge: Hanging Judge Mad Dog Gibbons
Prosecutor: Dave Tyrer
Bailiffs: Ruggid & David Lee

All guilty charges bring about an instant cash fine, that is to be used to fill Boozo 1 & Bozzo 2

Case 1: Stu McLaughlin - Auckland
Charge: Arriving late to prize giving claiming to be delayed by a young woman spaded on New Years Eve, and only making 3knots.
Verdict: Guilty, fined $3.00

Case 2: Jennifer Cheyne - Wellington
Charge: Illegal use of extra flotation devices during the contest, and use of the said items to distract the Aussies in the pool competition at Wellington Sports Café
Verdict: Guilty, fined $3.00 or show of flotation devices

Case 3: Peter Layton - Melbourne
Charge: Illegal parking causing damage to Heretaunga Boating Club. Evidence presented as a number plate embedded in a support beam in the Club.
Verdict: Guilty, fined $3.00 and a screw shackle

Interjection by Brett Williams for asking the prosecutor to get his hand off it … find by the bailiff of $2.00

Case 4: Ruggid - Wellington
Charge: A most disturbing case involving a court bailiff. Charged with being best performing Wellington boat, first to the top mark in every race, failing the measuring test.
Verdict: Guilty, fined $2.00

Case 5: Geoff Wilding - Auckland
Charge: Endangering wildlife, claimed that the two rudders that he broke during the contest were caused by hitting dolphins.
Verdict: Guilty, fine was to empty coin wallet of all shrapnel

Interjection by Tim Willets for laughing to much, and unable to control his cackle - fined $2.00 but didn't have any change so David and Ruggid fleeced him of $20.00 for disrupting the court

Case 6: Rob Fordyce - Auckland
Charge: Forgery, writing of his own registration certificate 1 day before the contest for a boat that did not comply with class rules.
Verdict: Guilty, very heavy fine imposed

Case 7: Ian Blair - Wellington
Charge: Claimed to be filming yachts when in actual fact he was making an XXX rated homosexual movie called Lord of the Ringpiece
Verdict: Guilty

Case 8: Peter Precey & Grant MacDuff
Charge: Peter is charged with having a 40th Birthday and not telling anyone, and MacDuff is charged with narking on Peter
Verdict: Guilty for both parties, fine - 1 x Bozzo each

Case 9: Mathew Smith
Charge: Split personailty, Mathew Smith and Arnold Schwazenager
Verdict: Guilty - fine of $3.00 or a strip for the ladies

Case 10: Graham Roberts
Charge: Having a boat named Magic Bus, that should have been called Tragic Bus
Verdict: Guilty, fined lots of money, as the court Bailiffs had to hold him up during sentencing. On payment of the fine, passed out for a snooze.

Case 11: Craig Gilberd
Charge: Litter lout for leaving a certain letterbox lying around the yacht club.
Verdict: Guilty, fined $2.00, and the judge ordered the letterbox burnt on the beach. The burning occurred in front of a large crowd.

Case 12: the entire Australian team
Charge: Making a movie slandering Wellingtons reputation as a hot, calm, balmy, riviera of the south.
Verdict: Guilty, fine involved a rousing rendition of Waltzing Matilda

Court session closed although Bozzo fines continued to be poured and consumed.