The 31^st National title was held in the neutral territory of Adelaide's gulf waters over the Easter period. Extremely light conditions dominated the week of racing (or as some described floating), in which the strong Victorian contingent dominated and took the first 9 placings. Spunout sailed by Mitch Galland and Rod Cameron reveled in the light conditions and sealed the victory early with 5 straight wins.

Victorians LA Woman were second, Houdini third and Unzipped fourth. The 17 Vicy Javs and 6 from WA saw very tight racing at both ends of the fleet, and with the extremely light winds, huge shifts, and very long courses, fleet position was always under extreme threat. A weather change for the final 2 races was a welcome relief for both the sailors and spectators, with 15 knots seeming like paradise after days of crouching and drifting for hours.

Unfortunately due to the mind numbing speed the races progressed at, this sun-baking journalist's (oh, yes the weather was sensational for sitting, reading, eating, having coffee, sun-baking and every other non wind based activity), descriptions may appear somewhat boring and uninspiring. And believe me, even with fabrication of apparent excitement, there is nothing more boring than reading about HOT YOTS floating backwards.

So to keep the reading public in someway entertained, I will include some light hearted moments that took place on the 'grassy knoll', a sand-dune where girlies/trolley dollies/significant others/ankle biters set up camp. Alternatively named 'fat clack hill' by some comedian, it was a place where much partying was done in the lovely sunshine as those silly sailors floated around in the deep blue sea.

NB: You may detect some Victorian bias in this article, which will develop for two distinct reasons. One is of course it is written by a Victorian, but most importantly, the Vic javs dominated the top end of the fleet which tends to be the focus of this report.

An early start for all as the sailors set off for an enthralling morning of tape measures and the girls graduated on mass to the market at the racecourse. The relative level of excitement between the sailors and 'significant others' was thus set for the week! The invitation race was set for 1420 hours, and start it did at that time without a good half of the fleet. The race instructions failed to suggest that it would take 2 hours to drift over the horizon somewhere to the start.

And as it started the Victorians pulled the first tactical move of the titles. Vicy boat For better or worse lead 5 of the 6 WA boats to the wing mark, set the kite and thundered down the '1^st reach". The small segment of the Vicy fleet actually at the start set off to the correct mark very quietly, to complete perfect execution of the plan. In the enormous 10 knot gusts (relatively Wellington like) Houdini took a 2 minute lead at the end of the triangle, followed by a close bunch of Unzipped, Chianti, 27Red and Blast from the past who was the only WA boat not lured by the Vicy scheme.

The breeze dropped quickly, and by the end of the first windward return, Houdini and Unzipped were having a tight tussle for the lead, 3 minutes ahead of that same group. The leaders continued this battle as they drifted very slowly down the last run to the finish to see Houdini win by the retractable pole length. A first Nationals race win by Mark and Tim well deserved as they were the only boat in the top four to start on time. LA Woman and Spunout did late flyers to finish 3^rd and 4^th. Dinner on at the club for welcome night.

Heat One started in the morning in less than 5 knots and set the scene for the typical conditions for most of the series. Just enough wind to move, but only just! It took the leading group of LA Woman, Spunout, Unplugged, and Unzipped, 32 minutes to get to the first mark. Some patches of 8-10 knots came and went as LA Woman dominated the 3 laps of the race, only to have Spunout overtake them and snatch victory in the last few tacks to the finish. Unplugged took 3^rd, and Jedda 4^th.

Heat two was a debacle! After postponing on the beach due to absolutely NO wind, the club decided it would test the sailors paddling skills by dropping the postponement flag, and sending them onto the calmest millpond you have ever seen! Up on 'the hill' we were discussing travel arrangements for the outing that arvo as there was obviously NO chance of a race happening, when one of the resident bikini clad goddesses nearly choked on her martini olive as she exclaimed "They are going OUT!" Outing discussions began again on the hill as for the next 40 minutes they sat out there. Then for no particular reason, up went the class flag, and off one goddess went for more supplies. It was going to be a long session.

It is unclear if it ever got above 1 knot, but it took the lead group of Spunout, LA Woman, The Boss and Unzipped nearly 3 hours to finish 2 laps. Boats were sitting all over the course with no wind and pointing in different directions. Just to really test everyone's patience after this mind numbing exercise, as the leaders got most of the way up the last work to the finish, a small wafer of breeze came up to set the absolute back-markers on a 10knot reach up the last work! To put it lightly, hearts were broken!

Spunout got through the line in time, LA Woman kept 2^nd by the smallest of margins from Internally Berserk who went from outside the top 10 to 3^rd! Houdini and Ease Up made up heaps of ground to take 4^th and 5^th. The Boss went from a comfortable 3^rd to 10^th 100 meters from the line, with Unzipped similarly 4^th to 9^th. Lets just say that the grassy knoll was a much more pleasant spot to spend the afternoon, as they paddled in from the finish in the semi-darkness.

Things started early with several sightings of sailors seen praying at sunrise to the wind god! No chance, with a lovely sun-baking high plonked right over Adelaide, with no end in sight. With 3 heats in the next 2 days completing 5 of 7 heats in the same pattern, skippers were seen feeding crews only water and/or sniffing around the 420 crews for 'a nice light 50kg one'.

A very positive AGM set the day off well with the best mix of both fleets seen for discussions in many years.

Heat three started approx. 6-8 knots with some gusts up to 10 letting those food-eating crews nearly stretch their legs on wire! At the first mark went Spunout, Unplugged, Unzipped and Houdini. By the end of the first sausage, Spunout and Unzipped had taken a good lead over a tight bunch, with Spunout taking the win to make it three in a row and Unzipped second. LA Woman made ground up the last work to take 3^rd, Houdini kept a race consistent 4^th, and Unplugged 5^th. The action-deprived fat clack hill showed glimpses of near interest when it was reported a spinnaker was seen filling, with much relief at the end of the race finishing in the daylight to ensure a safe exit from the mound's treacherous sandy summit.

Tuesday morning begun without even a breath of wind. The club thankfully postponed, but again with no real change brought down the flag an hour later. They were getting really good at paddling to the start by now. If heat two was a debacle, then this was ridiculous. Two general recalls occurred for the simple fact that the boats were floating sideways over the line in the tide. Or maybe it was a ploy by the heavy weather guys to delay for long enough that maybe the starters would remember they actually needed wind to start. Another postponement flag.

Things were hotting up on the hill as Josh Galland and his harem of girlfriends begun a series of Easter bunny dances that entertained the masses who had lost complete interest in that sailing thing! Finally a start that was unrecognizable for at least 10 minutes as it took that long for any of the fleet to actually move. At the first mark went Spunout, LA Woman, Houdini and R&R, with the leaders taking 2 hours and 13 minutes to complete one triangle. And as if heat two had not caused enough heartbreak, it would seem that even with a shortened course, the wind gods would crush those in the top 6 or so by providing wind to the backmarkers who had been up to 37 minutes behind. Spunout and LA Woman had enough of a lead to keep 1^st and 2^nd again, For better or worse came from 16^th to 3^rd, Houdini took 4^th, R&R went from 4th to 17^th, Unzipped from 5^th to 13^th and the list goes on.

Lots of losers but lots of happy boats that made up heaps also. Spunout had tightened their grip on first, and with the 5^th heat that afternoon also expected to be light, were expected to seal it by the end of the day!

The well-worn postponement flag got another go for the afternoon 5^th heat, until a nice 10 knots of seabreeze saw them all racing for the water. At the first mark went Mojo, Spunout, Unplugged and LA Woman, with Glen and Bill keeping the lead for the first lap! Spunout and LA Woman got through and had another good battle as the 'steady sea breeze' dropped to nothing yet again and became increasingly fluky. Mitch and Rod took their 5^th win, LA Woman their 4^th second, and Mojo held on well to take 3^rd and their first Nationals heat placing! For better or worse and Emotional Rescue both made up many placings up the last work to finish 4^th and 5^th.

The first day off saw most of the gang troop off in a double decker bus into the Adelaide hills. We did the rounds of lots of wineries, did the 'Chinese lunch thing', had the compulsory footy kick to kick, and did some shopping. All very leisurely and enjoyable! The two things to note from the footy clinics were (a) the more mature 'athletes' amongst the group performing very impressive drop kicks, and (b) the damned wind that extenuated the very average kicking. Oh! Sorry, I forgot to mention the only day of non-sailing so far presented a beautiful 15-20 knots! The Victorians had obviously been praying much harder than our WA friends had!

Finally the high weather pattern had passed by and the day begun with clouds and a nice 15 knot breeze! The sailors may have been happy, but it meant a change of attire on the hill as the 'nippy' breeze saw the bikinis replaced with blankets! Heat six started in the afternoon in the same 15-18 knots with LA Woman, Unzipped, Slippery when Wet and R&R leading around the first mark. Several boats had big swims on the reaches and it was suggested on the hill that the crews may have forgotten what 'that hook thing' was for. But at least there was some action, and the fleet looked great coming at the beach to the wing mark with their kites up! I think the locals had confused us with Tasers before that!

By the end of the second windward return the wind had stayed in for the first time, with LA Woman having a big lead over Spunout, Supercow and Unzipped. Over the line went LA Woman, Spunout then Emotional Rescue, Ease Up and Well Dressed who had all come from outside the top 15 to take 3^rd to 5^th. It seemed that even with a reasonable breeze those last legs had some big holes and/or fast streets! Mitch and Rodney had sealed the title and shut up some of the heavy weather boys who assumed they could not do well once it got over 10 knots.

Although they did not show the incredible speed as they had in the lighter conditions, Spunout had battled confidently through the fleet after an average start, and had a second to show for it! LA Woman had second in the bag with incredible consistency, but a big battle for 3^rd to 6^th had developed between Houdini, For better or worse, Unzipped, Unplugged and Emotional Rescue. The last race would have to sort this out, and that it did in a very interesting way!

The last heat started in another nice 15knot breeze, which did drop as the arvo progressed but produced good sailing. At the first mark went LA Woman, The boss, Spunout and Unzipped, with LA Woman having a spectacular crash down the first reach to the oohs of the crowd! About time there was some on-water entertainment for the spectators. However the real interest was out of our sight at the windward mark were three of the boats racing for 3^rd were having a bad day and going to get worse.

For better or worse, Houdini and Unplugged had a bad first work and were only two boats from the back of the fleet! At the mark rounding Unplugged ploughed into the back of Houdini and took out the whole rudder box. Not good! The Houdini trolley dollies/significant others on the hill were unaware of this incident. On seeing her boy limping in to shore dead last and on wide angles to keep the back of the boat together, Robyn was heard to exclaim, "HARRY!!!!, you don't have to go all the way to Glenelg!" "Give the woman another martini!" was the reply!

At the top end of the fleet at the end of the first sausage went Spunout, LA Woman, Unzipped and Well Dressed, with the 3^rd and 4^th position overall now up for grabs. Over the line went LA Woman, Spunout, Well Dressed and Unzipped. For better or worse came back through the fleet to take 8^th, but it was only enough to take 5^thoverall. It was subsequently found they were OCS, but this made no actual difference. Houdini applied for reinstatement of his heat position after the crash left them badly damaged, was given average points (4.8), and kept 3^rd overall. Unplugged was DSQed for the incident but was able to drop it as they did complete a penalty after the crash, but slipped to 7^th overall. Emotional Rescue held onto 6^th with a 17^th in the last race. Unzipped took 4^th.

Sir Brian Kerman and Michael on The Boss took the very close 'First WA Boat' prize from the Gammon brothers on Jedda, in 10^th and 11^th respectively. Anthony Elliot won the junior helmsman trophy, Mark 'my paintjob is ruined' Halton took the Veterans, and Tammy Ballard the Women's trophy. Well Dressed won the overall handicap.

Presentation night saw the new National champions Mitch and Rodney accept the coveted trophy to the roar of the Vicy crowd. After 13 years of WA boats winning during the 80's and 90's, it is great for the rivalry to see the VIC boys taking it for the third title in succession. The crews union provided revenge on those skippers with the highlight seeing Mitch's wallet opened 4 times and his g-string revealed once! The night went on very late, as you would expect, with much talk of the next title in Chelsea at Christmas this year!

And if you ever visit the 'grassy knoll', you will find it strangely empty and quiet, bar a few wayward rice crackers, martini olive pips and evidence of beach chair leg holes in the sand. But the ghosts of the trolley dollies/ significant others/ankle biters will be there at every sunset, reliving the slow days of sailing triumphs and defeats and entertaining days in the life of fat clack hill!

Final placings: 1^st Spunout(Galland/Cameron) 1,1,1,1,1,2=7, 2^nd LA Woman(Thomson/Parsons) 2,2,2,2,1,1=10, 3^rd Houdini(Halton/Fountain) 7,4,4,4,5,4.8=28.8, 4^thUnZipped(Smith/Williams) 8,9,2,8,6,4=37, 5^th For Better or Worse(Low/Tate) 5,13,6,3,5,10=42